What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
