hell yes lets make some ravioli
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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