I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
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