So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
