If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
