I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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