how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
