We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
this will be a night to untag.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Randomize
