I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
