dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
