you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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