I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
