remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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