He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Damn victory sex feels great
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
