You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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