Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
another moral hangover. fuck.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
