Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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