Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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