NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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