Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
