they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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