So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Randomize
