did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Randomize
