Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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