Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
