Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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