I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
