seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
