you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I need a burrito and a hug.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize