Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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