Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Hippo gnu deer
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
