We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
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