Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I would ride that face into the sunset
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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