My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
