she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
The cops high fived after they tackled you
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
