i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
