i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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