Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
