i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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