11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize