Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
