the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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