Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
So squirting runs in the family.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Randomize
