I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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