community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
