I cannot find my penis.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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