So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
