First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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