The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
And then he peed in my hair
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