Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
