All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
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