sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
