i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Randomize
