I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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