She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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