good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
