she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
