Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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