He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
