i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize