all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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