Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
