This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
